so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I could fuck to npr.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
