Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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