he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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