So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
