quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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