I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
