I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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