Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
