One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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