so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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