its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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