i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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