How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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