it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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