I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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