ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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