I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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