Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
