We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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