You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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