It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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