Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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