I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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