Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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