I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
