just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
