i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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