Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize