I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
