Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
