Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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