I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize