Got a toothbrush?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
