I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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