You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
