Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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