Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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