i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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