I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
