Don't you send me to vm
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
