see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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