I just cut my nipple shaving
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize