Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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