I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
