Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
