Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so let's talk penis.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
