Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize