he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize