Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
