In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
where am i from again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
