You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
