a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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