I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
