My first STD was from a foam party
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
