He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
