Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
