I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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