he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm at about main and main street
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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